Seven (or eight?) Mayoral Candidates to face off in Sept. 9 Primary

I'm afraid it's been called off.  Read the hellish details here.

He's kidding folks, what a joker.

He's still running, please write-him in.

Could we have attracted a larger cast of trolls, misfits and miscreants? I think not.

It boggles the mind to think of the THOUSANDS of hours of jaw-flapping this form of "representational" city governement entails. Where are our benevolent Dictators or Kings? A better idea: Change the locks on City Hall and send everyone home on full pay until they can find other work. Then consider real representational government in an Open Town Meeting (from Wikipedia):

"In Massachusetts, for example, generally the least populous towns have open town meeting form of government. The Board of Selectmen call the town meeting into existence by issuing the warrant, which is the list of items--known as articles--to be voted on, with descriptions of each article. The Moderator officiates the meeting by reading each article, explaining it, and making sure the rules of parliamentary procedure are followed, interprets voice votes and counts other votes. The Finance Committee makes recommendations on articles dealing with money, and often drafts the proposed budget. The Town Clerk serves as the clerk of the meeting by recording its results. Town Counsel makes legal recommendations on all articles of the warrant, to ensure town meeting is acting lawfully. All registered voters are free to attend and vote on any and all articles in the open town meeting."

I encourage you to read further.

I'm neither ashamed nor proud.  I felt it really had to be done.

I'm talking about this.

Discuss.

- Brendon Etter

Extremely Handsome Write-In Candidate for Mayor of Northfield

Dear Citizenry,

I need campaign signs, bumper stickers, buttons, t-shirts for my campaign.  Here's the good part:  They can look like you want them to look, say what you want them to say... no centralized control-freak here.  This is a campaign about, for, by and near the people!  (Especially me.)

Make'em up yourself, put them up around town yourself.  Know that I appreciate it, unless they suck hardcore.

Also, if my anonymous webmister or webmissus could update that site with some of my recent campaign posts from http://bleeet.blogspot.com I would appreciate it. (I'd love it if there were a few more brutally patriotic images added to the site as well, maybe a selection tool for the MIDI patriotic song you'd like to listen to...)

Thank you.

- Brendon Etter

Future Mayor

Yes!

That says so much about me...

My name is spelled wrong, that might cause some problems in a write-in campaign, but I know that image is what counts above all else.

Thank you so much for enlightening the voters on my behalf!

I took care of all problems in my campaign this weekend.

Sorry you missed it. You'll just have to take my word on this.

- Brendon Etter
A Play A Day & Lysteria

Are you being duped into wasting your vote every election?

Read my advice on how to avoid being exploited for your vote.

Revolution!

- Brendon Etter
A Play A Day & Lysteria

I hope this doesn't distract from the important issues of the day.

That's just like my opponents to focus on filthy garbage like this in an attempt to bring my leading write-in campaign down.

- Brendon Etter
A Play A Day & Lysteria

Being able to handle adverse situations well in an innovative fashion and a timely manner only strengthens your candidacy. A politician mustn't worry about doing things that are ethical, or moral, because an elected official can't always do the popular thing, or care about polls. He must use his own judgment, not that of his constituents. If you keep proving you can manage your staff and yourself well, then all I say is keep up the good work, Mr. Etter; you are well on the way to changing the face of politics in Northfield!

Thank you, Andy! Those are wonderful and insightful comments!

All I can say is that much stronger with you on board.

Incidentally, we are only one day into refilming, and all the camera work and setup shots with me and Ms. Oral are truly draining; so I appreciate your support all the more.

Between takes, I am wondering why the other candidates are refusing to answer my terrorism challenge.

Makes you worry...

- Brendon Etter
A Play A Day & Lysteria

I'm sorry to hear about your drained state of existence. I don't like to kick a man when he's down, but I must be honest with you. While honesty is not always in my best interest, I'm aware that some people don't enjoy surprises. My support for you is firm at present, however, if Bugs Bunny decides to throw his hat into the ring, I'll have to vote my conscience and switch my allegiance to him. I realize that some people won't understand my loyalty to an independent rabbit, and I have no desire to make a mockery of your campaign, but sometimes a duck's gotta do what a duck's gotta do.

I would appreciate it in person, but posting your apologies in this forum or on LoGroNo is acceptable.

Then get busy making your apology video!

More details on how to avoid a third lawsuit are right here.

- Brendon Etter
A Play A Day & Lysteria

Damn straight!

We shall dominate this Facebrook

I've heard so much of!

Join the fun!

Upon winning the Northfield mayoral race, we shall march on this Facebrook and instill Northfield regime change upon them, because it's what they should want!

Excelsior!

- Brendon Etter
A Play A Day & Lysteria

I'm not sure when this will happen, but it simply needs to happen.

For Northfield.

For Love.

Stay tuned.

- Brendon Etter
A Play A Day & Lysteria

Because you need to.

Because America demands it.

Because it's science.

- Brendon Etter
A Play A Day & Lysteria